Tommy's Newest CD -- "Vagitarian"

Track Listings: 1. Politically Correct # V 2. Vaginally Challenged 3. Vaginas; The Mother of All Invention 4. Vagitarian 5. Can A Vagina Make You Gay? 6. Vagina Noises 7. Vagina Noises #2: "IT’S JUST AIR!" 8. The Vagina and Doggie Style 9. The Vagina Has Ears 10. How The Vagina Is Like An Iron 11. The Vagina: A Victim of Design Flaw 12. The Vagina Is Exhausting 13. Your Man and His Vagina 14. Bonus Vagina Track

Vagitarian is Tommy Blaze's second CD of a four-part series. The title says it all as Tommy has assembled every joke he's ever performed about sex onto one CD. This CD includes the title track "Vagitarian" which explains the debt society owes to a certain part of the female anatomy. This CD is rated "Hard R" - you've been warned.

$14.99 plus shipping and handling

Please allow 4-6 weeks for shipping

• PayPal - Click on "Add To Cart" Button below to pay using your PayPal account
• Money Order - U.S.A. and Canada only
• First Born - Short on cash?

Tommy's CD -- "I Love You, Now Shut Up!"

Track Listings: 1. My Name is Tommy Blaze 2. I Smoke 3. No Talking! 4. 10,000 Words 5. The Secret of Divorce 6. The Brain You Have Dialed is Busy 7. Tricky Woman Questions 8. What Do You Think About During Sex? 9. Don't Rent Movies Together 10. Men's Movies and Chick Flicks 11. Bonus Track

I Love You - Now Shut Up is Tommy Blaze's first CD of a four-part series. It is for anybody who has ever experienced difficulty with a member of the opposite sex. Stop having your heart handed to you on a rusty spike. Smarten up and get this CD.

$14.99 plus shipping & handling

Please allow 4-6 weeks for shipping

• PayPal - Click on "Add To Cart" Button below to pay using your PayPal account
• Money Order - U.S.A. and Canada only
• First Born - Short on cash?

The Tommy Blaze "How To Satisfy A Woman Every Time" T-Shirt

I've made it my life's work to straighten out couples in need. After years of exhaustive field research, I have discovered the secret of relationship bliss. Sure, I could have written a book, but I thought I would be doing the public a greater service by putting this wisdom on a T-shirt. A woman should wear this shirt and if the man forgets what he's supposed to do, he simply glances down and reviews.

T-Shirt Front

T-Shirt Back

How To Satisfy A Woman Every Time Caress, praise, pamper, massage, empathize, tantalize, rationalize, moisturize, make plans with, serenade, compliment, support, feed, humor, grovel, placate, stimulate, anticipate, recreate, jiffy lube, stroke, console, hug, coddle, excite, take charge, pacify, protect, phone, nuzzle, smooch, forgive, sacrifice, leave, return, beseech, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, attend to, MIND READ, implore, shower, shave, trust, ignore, defend, clothe, brag about, help, acknowledge, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, (Did I mention mind read?) hear, understand, put your hand up on her hip, beg, plead, borrow, steal, nurse, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, flirt with, commit to, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, spot weld, serve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hankey-pankey, be bigger with, last longer with, get it over with, swing, slip, slide, squeeze, lather, tingle, slam- dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, fascinate, ingratiate, undulate, elevate, exfoliate, ...Wait, gelatinize, romanticize, know the right size, brush, tingle, drip, dry, fluff, fold, blue coral wax, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, indulge, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize, worship and then... GO BACK, JACK, AND DO IT AGAIN!

How To Satisfy A Man Show up naked.

This shirts is guaranteed to work EVERY TIME! If you follow this advice to the letter and your wife is still not satisfied then one of two things is happening here:

(1) You're a bigger loser than you thought in which case you need serious help or...
(2) You're having sex with a corpse in which case you need serious help.